Hard

Multiple times a week someone I know on the surface will say something like, "isn't going to be hard on you when he goes?" I'm not sure how I am supposed to respond. Usually I say something like: "yes, it will be hard, but it is not a surprise". Meaning no one tricked us into allowing our foster children to live with us. No one ever indicated they would be living with us for forever. Do I wonder how I will handle handing him back? Sure I do. Does it seem impossible some days? Yes. Have we made a mistake in fostering because it is hard? NO!

Why do we run away from hard? I mean I guess I know why, it's difficult. But we encourage our children to press on and overcome things that are hard. My daughter had a soccer game last week in the heat of the day with the sun beating down on her. Her team was short a player so all the players had to play for most of the game. She was hot, she was tired, and it was hard. I encouraged her to keep going, I cheered a little louder to keep her going, I poured water over her head to cool her off. I never said, "I know it's hard, why don't you just stop." There is value in learning endurance. There is value in hard.

My son has learned to read this year. It has not been easy for him. He changed primary languages at two years old. He still organizes some phrases as a Spanish speaking individual would. He has worked very hard. He has practiced and pushed through challenges along the way. We have encouraged him during moments of frustration to keep going because we know he can learn to read. Last night as I put PJs on the baby, my son read to us to keep the baby happy. He is ahead of grade level, but entered kindergarten not even knowing all of his letters. Was it hard? Yes. Was it impossible? No. Was it valuable and worth it? Yes.

Hard is inherent in life. Everyone is going to experience hard. It is a given. Did we sign up for hard? In a way we did. But, if I had the authority to tell you the details of our little one's life I hope you would see that my life is not hard. My pain is small in comparison. He is valuable and deserves to be in a safe, loving " middle" home while a safe home with family is established. I understand that this system is not perfect. I have been frustrated with aspects of the system even in the last 24 hours. I still want to do this, and yes it is hard.

Maybe that is my answer to the questions. "Yes it is hard, but we still want to do it."

Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. Matthew 7:9-12

Just as I care for and encourage my children in the hard in their lives, so much more so does our Father care for and encourage us in the hard.