Unnatural

Five years ago this month we were making final preparations to go pick up our son in Guatemala.  For 25 months we had been working on an international adoption.  We hit some delays and experienced the heartache that is so typical during a long adoption process.  In January of 2008 we knew that the adoption process was complete in Guatemala, and we were just waiting on immigration paperwork.  We finally knew that the little boy we hoped would be our son, was our son.  It was a very exciting time.  

During that time we met with our agency several times to make sure all paperwork was ready for us to carry with us.  We needed to make sure all was in order so we could bring him home without issue.  At some point during one of these meetings, the director of the program stopped and spoke to us from his heart.  An adoptive dad himself he wanted to encourage us as we started on a new journey.  

I remember very clearly what he said because at the time I found it almost offensive.  He encouraged us for having completed a very difficult adoption process, and then he said, "you need to know that what you are doing is not natural".  He went on to talk about the work that would be required to make us a family and that most people would not understand what our home life was about to look like.  I was offended because in those moments it felt so very natural to me.  It felt like I was finally going to get my son whom I loved.  But he was right.  My son did not know I was coming.   He didn't know anything but living in a children's home.  He didn't understand family.  So we had to work really hard to learn how to be a family.  Five years later, it is so obvious that the hard work, and lots of answered prayers, have made us a family.   

This week I was reminded of the "unnatural" part of foster care several times.  First, when I picked up a foster child's medications.  I was called Ms. "child's last name" by the pharmacy.  So I sent a message to my husband that Ms. "child's last name" had picked up the medication so he would know he didn't need to pick it up on his way home.  This was his message back to me after he joked that he was glad I did not have to show ID: "just another sign really of how absurd the idea of non relative fostering actually is. No one in their right mind thinks naturally you'd be doing that sort of stuff for kids not your own. . ." 

Later in the week, I had one of those scary mom moments where for two seconds I wasn't sure where a child was.  Turns out said child was standing so close to me (right behind my legs) that I couldn't see them.  I panicked. For two seconds I was about to go into crazy mom mode.  The adrenaline was already dumping into the blood stream.  This child is not my flesh nor do I have the promise of any future, but I was in full mom mode when I thought there might be danger.  

So I guess what I am describing is the miracle that has happened in our life.  God has opened our hearts to love in an unnatural way.  To love closer to how He loves.  It is only through him that this capacity exists.  I fail at it every day, but I am so thankful for what he has taught me through this process.