Daily

Daily I receive this comment, "it is going to be so hard on you and your family when they have to go back." Daily. Sometimes multiple times a day.

I never know what to say. I find myself trying to make the commenter feel better, but on the inside it just plain hurts. It kind of stabs, and reminds me that I am only the interim. I stand in someone else's place for a time. Trouble is I don't know how long this "time" may last.

Sometimes it makes me wonder why we are doing this. Why are we submitting ourselves to a relationship that involves so much time, love, sacrifice, loss of sleep, loss of freedom, loss of privacy that will not last?

Then I remember the story and circumstances that created the need for this relationship. A child in need of foster care has often been abused, neglected, in pain, abandoned, and lost more than I will lose when this relationship ends. If I can take a little of the pain off a little one for a while then my pain is worthwhile. If I can help them heal while I keep them safe then we all benefit.

What if we had said no? The need would have still been there because we did not create the need. We were willing to meet a need, but hoped we would never be needed (we were needed within 6 weeks of being approved). We would have missed out. We are a different family today for the better.

Usually I end up saying something like, "it's worth it" and then I smile. What no one sees is I am teary behind that smile. I'm sad because they are right it will hurt. I'm sad because I know the story that created the need for foster care. I'm sad because my pain is not more valuable than that of a abused or neglected child. I'm sad because sometimes this is a lonely road, and when someone points out the hurt then I feel alone on the road.

35 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,
36 I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.'
37 Then the righteous will answer him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?
38 And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?
39 And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?'
40 And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.' Matthew 25:35-40