The trouble with my cute sunglasses

I wear glasses. Not always at home but if I am driving, working, reading, cooking(learned the hard way that I need them to follow recipes correctly) I have my glasses on. I'm not a great candidate for contacts so I stick with my glasses. This year I bought really cute sunglasses. They don't have my prescription in them so I just wear them if I don't need to be doing detail work. If my husband is driving, then I am usually wearing my cute sunglasses.

Why am I talking about my glasses on a blog about our experience in foster care? Because they cause trouble when dealing with a child/children who need attachment style parenting. We've been adoptive parents for over four years and foster parents for almost a year. I have studied, read, been in classes, completed required reading, received CEUs all on attachment. I do not think I have ever been warned about the trouble with cute sunglasses.

Here's the idea of how attachment typically develops in an infant. Baby has a need, baby cries to communicate need, caregiver addresses need, baby is comforted and learns to trust that needs will be met by caregiver, therefore forming a secure attachment or bond.

Here's the idea with kiddos who do not have those secure attachments. Need expressed, need not met, baby does not feel secure, instead feels anxious, does not learn to trust, does not form appropriate secure bonds with caregiver.

Lots of things can cause attachment issues. Children who need to be in foster care often need to learn to trust and form secure attachments. This is not easy work. It is constant, it is sometimes exhausting, but it is of utmost importance. The health of future relationships rests on the ability to form secure bonds, trust, and receive love/care.

Eye contact is important for developing healthy attachments. Eye contact is intimate. A caregivers eye contact can build trust and security.

Blocked eye contact with my cute sunglasses is not worth it. You think I would know that without having to have a dramatic lesson. You would think that . . .