When we were dealing with infertility, people often told me to "just relax". What they didn't know is that I could have relaxed until I completely lost all muscle tone in my body and it would not have mattered.  We had diagnosed reasons that we could not conceive.  Unless God chose to work a miracle of healing we were not going to have a baby.  So when people said that, it just made me feel misunderstood and so very alone.  

I guess in a way He did work a miracle.  He changed our hearts and opened them to the fatherless children He needed us to care for.  

Now people say another phrase to me all the time.  They say, "it's just going to be so hard on you when _________ goes". Well, true, but what good does it do for us to dwell on that now?  How does that help me in being the foster mom that God has called me to be? Once again, it sometimes leaves me feeling misunderstood and alone.  

This time next week my family will be surrounded by hundreds of other families living in the trenches of foster care.  There will be fun and snacks and heat.  My kids are about to bust to pack up for camp.  All I can think about is that for a few days no one is going to point out how hard it will be when children leave. They are going to give knowing glances and laugh at the beautiful children that we all have "for now".  They are going to love all my children as if they were aunts or uncles.  And at some point we will all agree that we live a crazy life, but we wouldn't trade it for anything.