I'm not a saint. I'm not a wonderful person. I am not strong. I'm not so great.
I'm a regular person that gets frustrated and worn out.
This week as we have lived this foster care life in front of our friends and family I've gotten a lot of the "you're so great" comments. Often followed by its cousin, "I could never do that". Can I be really honest? Those make me really uncomfortable because I know how not great I am. I'm not super woman and I fail every day. I am writing for two reasons.
1. I think the more people understand what foster care is like the more they can use their own unique skills and gifts to support and encourage children/families in hard spots. This week I had a friend who could frame my emotions for me from an objective perspective. That was a huge support for me.
2. It's free therapy. Sometimes I work out how I'm feeling and what I'm learning during these busy days by writing it out. I can process things as I form concrete thoughts instead of letting everything bounce around inside my head while I try to listen to three kids talk to me at one time.
The main reason I get really squirmy when somebody talks about me being great is I deserve no credit for anything good in this. I believe that this is all God. I believe He has a great plan for all the people who live in my home, but I also believe He has a great plan for your family too. It might not look like my house, but He wants to use the gifts he has given you for his glory. I fought him for a long time on this, but now I know this is what is best for our family even though it is not easy.
So anyway, I'm not great, God is great. (I guess I could have skipped all the other stuff and just written that.)
